Film For Thought

So as mentioned in an earlier post, I've managed to power my way through 174 cinematic releases in 2009. As we embark on a new year I'd say it's the perfect time to look back on the ones that went before, identifying my favourites and the ones which made my toes curl. In the interest of fairness I've eliminated any re-releases and the films I caught at the London Film Festival that have yet to be released in the UK.

The 10 worst films of 2009 are as follows:-

10) Doghouse - Clearly intended to be ironic with it's sexism, this Brit zom-com treads well the wrong side of the line. Dyer, Graham and Clarke are all fine but the base humour leaves you with a sense of bemusement.

9)Seven Pounds - The normally reliable Will Smith pleads for an Oscar and falls well short. It all hangs on a twist that's not only obvious after ten minutes, but all even the details around the twist are obvious after twenty.

8) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - A take on the Dickens classic released in the middle of May, Matthew Mahogany continues to try and convince us he can't act (I still have hope).

7) My Sister's Keeper - Are you crying? How about now? You must be crying at this bit? Cry now...go on, cry! Oh god, you have to be crying now? You're not crying? You have no soul! (No, I have taste).

6) Harry Brown - It's great to see Michael Caine, but regardless of the filmmaker's alleged intentions this indicts all British youths and a final act that goes all Rambo plays like a vigilante call to arms.

5) Lesbian Vampire Killers - Gavin and Stacey's Horne and Corden added their name to the list of British double acts to flop on the big screen. Far worse than Magicians or Alien Autopsy, this overly-stylised 'lads in the country' romp even eclipses the similar Doghouse.

4)Dragonball Evolution - Just mind-numbingly dour from start to finish. This Hollywood adaptation of a manga favourite fails to put tab A into slot B with any semblance of success.

3) Miss March - The American teen sex-comedy reaches it's lowest ebb - primarily by getting Hugh Heffner involved. One character goes by the name of 'Horsedick.MPEG', need I say any more.

2) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - And you thought it couldn't get any worse. Despite having one good action scene (the forest fight), the rest of the plot makes no sense whatsoever. Combine that with actors who seem more synthetic than their robotic counterparts and you've got yourself a solid gold turkey.

1) Dance Flick - Spoofs just don't get any better and this time it's the Wayans brothers sending up films that are in fact far superior to their own. Never mind that the dance movie trend has been and gone, their major target for lampooning, Save the Last Dance, was released a mammoth eight years prior. There are simply no redeeming features of which to speak and that's why it sits at the top of the list.